PLEAD !!

Had no idea that you would come into my realm and produce so many cute and serene memories.. 
Been in love umpteen times but never was so unconditional as it was for you..!! 
I remember i was packing my luggage ..I had to act sapient in order not to miss anything that was needed for my bhau's ceremony..  ..when you were playing all around me just in mood to play around..rollick around.. not making any nuisance and all I could do was speak with you.. And i noticed you sweetto.. I noticed you.. !!  I wish i had embraced you then.. I wish i had cuddled you enough not to let go off me anywhere.. !!   
I toh didn't even say you bye while on my way to station.. was too hurried to take ur glance.. Thought i toh would meet you very soon at nagpur..!! Damn !!!! Damn !! 
Was broken into pieces when i heard you were no more.. ! I could see how you had been through..  I wish i could take all that pain If i wish..I could.. !! I can feel that cowardly moment when i was laughing in my comfort zone.. thinking what not.. and you were taking your last breaths far away from me.. !!! I know.. you must have called me.. but  i couldn hear you..perhaps i was too aloud in my space to let in any voices in my ears.. !!  
Like vicky told me how it happened to you..i can feel that hunger of yours to breath.. need to live.. need to understand what you said..  I have nothing to say...but this is just to tell you that i realize.. I realize it was my mistake..   
Babdu..That doctor didn inform me that it was not safe to travel for you.. that jerk didn tell me.. otherwis i wouldn have dared take you from here.. !!! 
I am sorry... Sorry... My ignorance caused you death... !!!!! I still recall..how my dad had his grave expression when.. he told.. how he embraced you when you were striving to breath ... I could see what trauma your death brought in our family... !! 
What tortures me the fact that.. I couldn reach out to help you.. !! Mere thought asphyxiates me..  Sorry is such a small word.. Babdu.. I know " I AM RESPONSIBLE"..  for whatever happened.. Please forgive me... !!   I still feel the warmth your fur caused to my fingers.. I still remembers those twinkling red eyes.. running outrageously for methi.. !! I remmber the dramepana that you did in kitchen .. How you jumped in the garden testing your limits.. how you legs used to slip on marbel.. how you used to frighten in lift.. HOw you used to come over my bed and pee.. i remmbr... YOU... !!  
Chotu.. If possible.. come ..alive.. in my realm.. once again.. and I promise.. I wont let you down.. !!! I PROMISE !!! or when I die.. I PRAY to that almighty (if exists) to lay my grave beside you.. And then ..i'll shower all the love i couldn in this life.. !! 

#animal count

Daily animal count in my life..
 
Camel  15+ (down-hill accompanied by goats)

Goats    6+ (down-hill ) 

Dogs    10+ (some sleeepin in middle of road.. few.. barkin.. and few...          stranded )

Swines  3+ (mostly a mother/father accompanied by their offspring ..:P)

Sparrow 4  (flappin there wings)
Horses   3+ (mostly .crossing road.. on camp side..)
Crow     1  (heard never seen)
Cats      3  (below office buildin.. Now they come runnin when i say miow...)         Love those kittens.

Pigeon  1   (outside bathroom window) 
(this makes a beautiful ride to my workplace.. I ignore the human beings n concentrate on these animals... Its pretty cool and intriguing to observe them.. Worth reckin n deemin it aloud)

Rushali Ramteke,
http://noetic-ingenuity.blogspot.com/
http://rushali.posterous.com/

Dont they look similar ? on Twitpic

Dont they look similar ? on Twitpic

SPUN !

My superstition got me wishin' for another life and if I don't listen ..
I ain't gonna make it through another night and the pills 'n the caine and the drink and the drugs got me..
floating above ..
And the girls and cash the cars and the hash got me feelin' a rush..
A thousand voices in my head I don't know right from wrong ..
I'm breakin' down holdin' on I'm livin' song to song and Pipe you're my brother 'till the day that we die ..
I don't give a fuck who hears me cause ..
I ain't gonna lie so roll it up pour a cup drink it up smoke it up ..
I don't give a fuck we bout to blow this shit up ..

Four reckoning direction!!

Four directions emanates from my brain-stem, boundaries unknown. Unaware of where do they land or if they could concur except for their origin cognized that’s  me. They start from me yet, and yet they lose hold of me. I try to look, beyond my vision, and I see them smudged in rains, some at their yield point almost broken and at plasticity, some refraining to even come backwards to have  a word ,some beclouded by my own virtue, desires and slants.  

I try to make amends between all four but then they are recalcitrant and they have this shield protect like sun control cream having PH value that I cannot plow. How does it feel when someone you belong turns you off? Know what ?? Know what ?? I know exactly how it feels. My thoughts disown me sheer seconds after they uprose.                  

No sooner do I tend to take off, some unwelcomed directions land in to sabotage my fears of thoughts. And they come from my very own siblings trying to find DIRECTION for my life. Now, None,  None of these, none of these concur. Nor do I wish to make them meet, intrude or intervene.  

My life is managed by my editing tools sans an Undo. I make it bright , I make it colorless. I crop it if I wish to. I would !! I want my smart layer held fast. I filter it. I have its curve.

One fine day these directions shall meet with discernment. I don’t know when, where and how but I am working on it. Am I?? kidding am i? and when they shall, THE DAY WILL BE MINE ! Even if they do not, mere thought is plenty to keep myself stable. 

http://ingenuousrush.wordpress.com/

http://rushali.posterous.com/

Treasury notes !

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UMM:                :)

6:08 PM             i missed u the whole day

 HMM:              :(

 UMM:              .... i was like when this internet will work

                        and all

6:09 PM             its a good feeling to miss someone

                        somwhere when u get back in touch u feel so good..

navi link

SEO !!

Search engine optimization !! that is what I have been digging out since months. Joe, One of best friend helped me get through SEO thing. For a change I loved it too. I explored enough to take my first assignment on Odesk. Didn think I’d get my first job so soon on Odesk. SO !! It was bingo paradise for me as my stepping stone.  Imagine! my first work and that to for a site that works on  online gambling game.(phew!! Sounds notorious for a novice like me).  Somehow I managed to deal with it. submissions to the directories. look for PR. look for mirror sites. Yeah dealing with it was an issue especially  with not so happy, nescient kind of employer that I had.

It took me 2 months to get into another assignment. Probably I was busy with other engagements and didn’t  get time enough to go to odesk and see the updates. Now, when I have got my second assignment, the employer is taking too long to respond. Aaargh !!

In between… telephonic interview with a technical person from rankuno.. !! Damn !! why do people take telephonic interviews when they know the office is mere 5kms from my place. Anyways, I hate it when voice breaks and someone calls u on the door just when u find yourself suitably answering the recruiter over phone.  Why do I get so nervous over interview? Darn it !! Stability is missing. God.. Give me stability.

Life is such a play, if you have the remote control over life, you’ll enjoy playing it for hours and if you are being controlled by somebody else, life looks like a coo inside wall hung clock, singing in an interlude of each hour..making an appearance outside clock only when needed. I wish I could make it . I want to make it. Chance…chance is all what I need.  Aaaaah… sadness…. !! euphoria saddens !